Fear of Failure and Youth Sports
Summary: Young athletes often hold back in sports because they fear failure and disappointing others. This fear leads to tentative play and prevents them from taking the risks that fuel growth. By shifting focus to goals instead of mistakes, letting go of others’ opinions, and embracing bold play, athletes can free themselves from fear and unlock their full potential.
A young athlete asks:
“I’m a 14-year old basketball player. I keep holding back on the court because I’m afraid to mess up. What should I do?”
Fear of failure is one of the most common issues in youth sports.
Your children often feel the pressure of the spotlight that sports can impose on them.
They may be worried about disappointing you, their friends, or their coaches. They may worry about embarrassing themselves after all of the work they’ve put into the sport.
They May Feel an Intense Pressure not to Let Anyone Down
ALL of these issues can add up and play a part in making your children fail to perform to their potential because they’re afraid of failing or making mistakes.
When kids play to avoid making mistakes, they perform tentatively, and avoid taking the all-important risks that allow them to excel.
New issues may arise, such as worries about what everyone is thinking of them, and if these issues aren’t addressed, your children may feel the urge to quit the team or the sport altogether.
While they should be concentrating on what they can do to help the team execute plays, they may get stuck thinking about what could go wrong if they make the wrong pass, fumble the ball, or strike out one more time.
Your athletes are worrying about what could go wrong at a time when they should be concerned with how they can make things go right!
When kids avoid making mistakes, you want them to understand why they are avoiding mistakes…
Ask your Athletes:
- “What would be so bad if you mess up?”
- “What do you think will happen if you make mistakes in the competition?”
- “Will the coach be upset? Will your teammates be disappointed?”
First, your kids have to let go of worrying about how others might react and what it means to them if they make mistakes.
Second, you want your athletes to focus on what they want to accomplish, such as make a good pass, instead of worrying about making a mistake, such as giving up a turnover.
5 Tips to Overcome Fear of Failure in Youth Sports
1. Shift Your Focus From Mistakes to Goals
Instead of worrying about turnovers or missed shots, think about what you want to do—like making a smart pass or playing solid defense.
2. Understand That Mistakes Are Part of the Game
Every athlete makes mistakes—even pros. What matters most is how you respond and learn from them.
3. Stop Worrying About Others’ Opinions
Fear often comes from worrying about disappointing coaches, parents, or teammates. Let go of what others might think and play for yourself and your team.
4. Play Bold, Not Safe
Holding back prevents growth. Taking risks—whether it’s driving to the basket or trying a new move—helps you build confidence and improve faster.
5. Ask Yourself Honest Questions
When you feel fear creep in, ask: “What’s the worst that could happen if I mess up?” This helps you realize that mistakes aren’t the end of the world.
Related Sports Psychology Articles:
- Letting Go of Mistakes in Competition
- How to Turn Mistakes Into Success
- How to Unlock Athletes’ Minds from Avoiding Mistakes
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FAQ: Fear of Failure
Q: Why do young athletes fear making mistakes?
A: Many kids worry about disappointing their coaches, teammates, or parents, and this pressure makes them play tentatively.
Q: How can athletes stop worrying about what others think?
A: By recognizing that mistakes are normal and focusing on effort and improvement rather than external approval.
Q: What happens when players try too hard to avoid mistakes?
A: They play cautiously, miss opportunities to take risks, and limit their overall growth and performance.
Q: How should athletes reframe their thinking during games?
A: Instead of thinking, “Don’t mess up,” focus on a positive goal like, “Make a strong pass” or “Stay in front of my defender.”
Q: What can parents do to help kids with fear of failure?
A: Parents should encourage effort over outcome, highlight positives after games, and avoid putting too much emphasis on wins and losses.
Dr. Patrick Cohn is an expert mental performance coach who has helped athletes for over 30 years enhance their performance. Dr. Cohn earned a master’s degree in sports psychology from CSUF and a Ph.D. from the University of Virginia, specializing in Applied Sports Psychology.